adjusting

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When we first moved to New York, in 2002, we purged many of our things and squeezed what was left into a tiny studio. The night we moved in I had dough rising in the kitchen for some homemade pizza. Let me say that again: I made homemade pizza, from scratch, the day I arrived in New York. We were mostly unpacked and I, apparently, had energy to kill. So I made a pizza. On moving day. It didn’t seem strange at the time. But now, after having just recently moved, it seems downright crazy.

This move, by comparison, totally swept the rug out from under us. It’s been HARD. Hard, hard, hard. Things are just so much more complicated now than when I was 23. I have two kids. And, I think it’s worth mentioning here, that I have two *special* kids. Sure, moving is hard for all kids…but for special kids…especially the ones that are special in the manner and degree to which Isaac is special…moving is downright traumatic.

Everyone’s been needy. The boys have been needing much more attention and patience than usual. There has been lots of whining, irritated voices, obsessing over the strangest things…and, my least favorite, potty-training-regression. Also, everyone just seems distracted. I’ve had to keep an eye on Andrew near the street because of a couple of close calls where he didn’t notice a car coming. I haven’t had to worry about Andrew and the street in years! But he seems so distracted right now…he loses sight of things that he’d normally be able to track.

I’ve been needy too. I’ve been needing to unpack, organize, feather this new nest. I can’t play Monopoly right now….do you see that we are surrounded by boxes?! I can’t fix your lego spaceship because if I don’t find my hairdryer soon, my hair will look like *this* all day! They think the things I need to do are trivial and I think the same about what they need to do. Therefore, we are suffering from a lack of unified vision.

I’ve been very, very surprised at how hard this move has been. We lived in our last apartment for five years and our systems were DOWN. We all knew: who would be taking out the trash and when, where to put dirty laundry, who would be washing the laundry and when, where to put dirty dishes, who would be washing the dishes and when, where we store used-and-washed zip lock bags, where we store the lunch boxes and backpacks and my wallet and the car keys, where to put your shoes when you walk in the door…SOOO many little systems that make up living in a home. Sooo many little things that keep our home from tumbling into chaos. It all had to be built back up and reworked. And that might not seem like a big deal to a lot of people…I get that…but it’s a HUGE deal to me. As I’m sure you’ve caught on to by now, homemaking is pretty important to me…so are systems and routine and order.

So, not only have the boys been needy and I’ve had less to give them…but other systems we had in place had major interruptions…namely: bussing. For two weeks I spent three hours a day picking up kids and dropping them off at school (both boys have summer school components to their programs…for which I am VERY grateful!). I had two hours at home alone to do what I could, before having to turn around to go pick them back up. It was a LOT of run around!

But…my friends, I am happy to say, the worst seems to be over. It’s been three weeks and things are getting worked out. I *thought* this might happen…but I did, from time to time, have my doubts. :)

Yesterday felt right. Finally. The bus came to get Isaac, I went for a run, and got some work done in the morning. I picked up Andrew (his bussing started today!) and we played Monopoly after lunch. Isaac got home and I scrapbooked at the dining room table while Andrew drew and Isaac played (with his Chicka Boom Boom tree!) on the floor next to me. And…I made biscuits to go with dinner. I’ve been playing around with how we spend the afternoons. I’ve tried to get my work done early so I could be available to the boys since they both seem to need that so much right now. I think we’ve finally found our rhythm…and that feels great.

Last night I said to Dave, “I can recognize myself now!” There is still a lot to be worked out and settled…but it doesn’t feel so raw and new and foreign as it did for a little while there. And THAT is sweet relief.

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The scrapbook page I made yesterday was about Isaac’s Chicka Chicka Boom Boom phase. :) So, how perfect that he’d be playing with his coconut tree while I worked on it. ha! I used the journaling that I posted here last Friday and when I showed Isaac the page, as you might imagine, he loved it!

On the list of things I need to work out? Where to do my photography for the projects I post here! This blue backdrop is NOT working for me. :) All in due time…


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About robyn

I stopped teaching Kindergarten in 2005 to become the mom of two crazy boys here in Brooklyn. At first I thought being a stay at home mom meant that I needed to pour all my time and energy directly into my sons, but I realized somewhere along the way that being a rockstar mom meant not only taking good care of my boys, but also taking good care of myself. And taking good care of myself means pursuing something creative...just about everyday. I started Made In Brooklyn to motivate myself in my creative goals as well as share my work with others and perhaps inspire them in their own creative journeys.
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4 Responses to adjusting

  1. MamaV says:

    Phew. Blessings as you continue to make this big transition!

  2. Janette says:

    I love this line: “We are suffering from a lack of a unified vision.” Ha! I think I am going to start whipping this one out when things start to fall apart around here (which, with three small boys, is fairly often).

  3. When I saw the photo of the scrapbook page I thought, “Oh my gosh, Isaac will LOVE this page!” :)

    And I have been thinking about you guys and wondering how everyone was settling in. When I saw that you had baked biscuits I knew that was a good sign! A move is tough on anyone, but I’m sure it was extra tough on your boys. Not only because they have special needs, but because any child who moves from the only home they’ve ever known can have some adjustment issues.

    Anyway, I think you are doing a fabulous job, and I’m really glad to see some of the “normal” things coming back around – your pink shoes, baking, busses… Hang in there!

  4. Miss Vicki says:

    Can you hark back to what you felt, did ,in your childhood when you moved to a new place. You should mention to your readers that you moved from NY to NH to AL to VA to SD to NH to VT in your first 18 years. (a lot less than your siblings moved). I am so impressed with what I can see from your pictures with how much you have made this into your home in this “short” period of time. Proud Mama

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