I stopped getting my reliable 4 o’clock headache. I got it for months and it came just at the time of day when I was wrapping things for work, helping Andrew with his homework, keeping Isaac busy so Andrew and I could work and starting to think about dinner. I don’t miss the headache.
I feel tired at the end of the day, but it feels like a different kind of tired. More gentle and calm and less frantic and “I-need-to-sleep-right-NOW”!
I feel lonelier. I really, really liked my coworkers. And even though I worked from home I was still in touch with everyone, every day. I became known as “funny”…which still strikes me as curious. I’ve never been in a job when I was the funny one before. Coworkers told me that they knew when someone was reading an email I sent from the giggling… “reading an email from Robyn again?” I LOVED that! I miss it.
I have more time to do things. An obvious one, but one that keeps surprising me. During the day I can take time to tidy in the silverware drawer as I’m putting things away because I’m not in a mad rush. I can do things at a nice pace and NOT think “I don’t have time for this!”
I can be more involved with my kids’ schools. Today I am going on a field trip with Isaac’s class. I helped Andrew put together a crazy hat for Crazy Hat Day last week. These things aren’t sneaking up on me now…I see them coming.
I feel a little nervous. Not about money…more about time…and fulfillment. Each day I wonder if everything will be okay. Will I have enough to do? Will I start to feel useless? And then…when I don’t have enough to do, or start to feel useless what will I do then? How will I fix it? I’m not too worried about these things…I feel like I’ve gotten really good at answering these kinds of questions…but I’m still curious about it.
I keep forgetting about the laundry, which never happened before. I could spend all day working hard, and STILL keep on top of the laundry. I have NO idea what that’s about.
I think for the most part, the transition is over. It was a little sadder for me than I expected, but I think I’m on the other side of it now, with rhythm found.
I am really glad to have more time for baking. Spending time baking is good for my soul…especially a-notch-up baking! Like dipping shortbread in chocolate and using sprinkles and nuts to decorate. Ahhh…now THERE is time well spent!