Isaac wants to win. He wants to win games we play, he wants to be the first to get his shoes on, he wants to be the fastest kid on the scooter. If Andrew pulls ahead in any area, Isaac screams and cries and yells at Andrew, in a panicked voice, to “slow down!” and “let me be first!!” Yesterday they were scootering up and down the block after school and Isaac was so furious that Andrew could scooter faster than him that in an effort to pull ahead of Andrew, they crashed. Isaac got a gash on his forehead, which paled in comparison to the frustration he felt in not being the fastest.
He meets with a social worker at school and part of what she works on with him is game playing with peers. Learning that it’s okay to NOT be the winner every time. When he gets worked up, I tell him “sometimes Andrew is first and sometimes Isaac is first, and either way is OKAY!” But honestly, he’s not buying it. Number one is, well, number one.
Part of me feels sympathetic. Andrew will be bigger and faster and better than Isaac at a lot of things for a long time. Isaac will likely catch up at some point (and there ARE things that Isaac can do that Andrew can’t!), but I think mostly he just feels frustrated to be littler.
He tells me he wants to be twins with Andrew. He asks me, in an accusatory tone, “WHY didn’t you born me in 2005?!” (the year Andrew was born)
But I also just want to teach him to cope. Which I find a little hard to do. How do you teach that? He won’t always be first. He won’t always win. Drive is great, but so is feeling okay when you lose.
They say redheads are hotheads, are stubborn, have tempers. And I say, from my very small sample set, it’s true. There’s fire to those red curls. :)
In other news…CAKE! Lemon Yogurt Cake! from Passion for Baking. Scrumptious!! And a nice cooling dessert after a heated afternoon. :)